There comes a time in everyone’s life when they feel stuck, and eventually just have to face the music, so to speak. This can take a variety of forms and happens for a variety of reasons. As someone who considers themselves to be a an aspiring artist, this year, I”ve come to face the music and realise that I can no longer sustain being in a perpetual stage of aspiration. It’s just not going to work at any level, especially if i want to pass myself off as being someone of artistic value. There are many ways in which this is manifesting or will manifest but I’m talking about acting and the arts in this context. The realisation that I need to buck it up and recommit myself came to me this week after a particularly committed week of classes and development. The first push came during a round of company warmups, which is where we engage in physical and vocal exercises. I got schooled, to put it mildly, on my inability to recall, retain or implement the physical techniques that i have learned but for some reason have neglected in favor of being rather morose and obsessive. When I’ve been at this f or a little over three years and I sill have difficulty using my diaphragm….that’s a problem. So I’ve been slowly trying to integrate the levvel of physicality that is required. I say slowly because with the plethora of changes going on in my life, not to mention the weather and lack of a city bus card, it’s been difficult to sustain at the moment, but as long as I can commit to developing the physicality even a little bit things will go much more smoothly.
The second push, although not directly related to Anodyne, left such a lasting impression that I’m reconsidering how I view myself and my art. It came in the form of watching a child piano prodigy from Tamil Nadu, Lydian Nadhaswaran, perform astounding feats of piano technique. Now, I’ve made 11 tracks but that doesn’t make me an automatic prodigy.and even if it did I’d still have to work hard at it.
The third push, which did come from Anodyne, came today, when I realised that I’ve been looking at this business of art in the wrong lens. You see…when I was young maybe the glamour and passion of writing was enough to sustain me artistically. After all I was young, and very few people at the age of 17 or so can really think professionally. In the disabilities world, that mindset is even more enhanced. You have grown men in their thirties,,who are in wheelchairs thinking that they can’t have children and calling others who say otherwise a liar. I’m not making that up by the way. it actually happened. Someone actually said that and it broke my heart a little bit when I heard it. But that doesn’t mean that they can’t commit themselves or try. I’m fairly certain that I was meant for an artistic profession. SO now it’s time to take the logistical side of things a bit more seriously.
ACtors Rehearse: Acting with disabilities. 